Shertalia!
by Cake-a-kat
Summary: At the world conference Britain opens a portal to a different dimension. Germany, Italy, Romano, France, Prussia, Spain, Austria, Hungary, Britain, America, Canada, Russia, and Belarus get pulled in before it shuts. They have been pulled into the world of Sherlock. What will they do when only a few can speak english? some theories are used and explained in the A/N. Human names.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: there are some theory's I use in here that I will now explain. **The common tongue**: All the countries are born knowing a langue that all of them speak and under stand. They can also speak their native langue, and whatever other langue's that the people who live in them speak. **France doesn't speak English**: simple as it is. He is to stuck up to learn English so he only speaks French, Spanish, and Common. **Prussia speaks five langue's**: simply that he speaks German, French, Spanish, English, and Common. **Germany has not one, but 5 brothers**: big family. Oldest to youngest; Prussia, Germany, Francis, Britain, America, Canada.

Thanks for my friend wolfcry for giving me the idea to write this! Keep letting me come over so we can watch every thing my mom wont let me watch girlfriend!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, Sherlock, or Fringe. Though I do own the song Spain sing! (Wrote it my self! Go me!)

Chapter 1, The Brit, the conference, and the portal (Germany)

I sighed and put down my pen. America had just given his stupid speech about pollution. Why was my little brother such a Dom Kopf? It's bad enough I have to deal with Gilbert, but four other brothers that were all crazy to boot? Each one gay, and two of them committing incest. Why Francis and Arthur were going out escaped me. Of course, they made all of us swear not to tell any one. Though some how it leaked out to Japan, and then to the rest of the world. But now I had to pay attention again because Britain was standing up to speak.

"Now, my government has combined science with black magic to create a portal, to another dimension. I will be giving a demonstration today at midnight. Family is expected to come." At those words he glared at America. On the inside I smiled but remanded stern on the out side. "If any one else would like to come, they are welcomed. Though sea land is banned. If you show your face then I will box your ears." The small boy hiding under the table gave an angry shout but staid under the table.

If I were going, which I was of course, then my sweet little Italian lover would be coming. At that same moment he nudged me in the side. "Can I come too Wiggy?" asked Italy in a whisper. I simply nodded my head which made him give me a hug then went back to 'paying attention' to Britain.

"Now, we shall have a two hour break for lunch. I shall finish my presentation and we can finish this meeting after." Every one got up stretching, glad for the break. Almost as soon as every one got up, the Bad Touch Trio was gathered in a corner laughing over something Gilbert had pulled out of his bag. "Oi! West! Come look at this!"

I walked over dreading what it was. He turned the thing around and showed me. It was a picture of Austria, Gilbert's boyfriend, only wearing boxers that wear half on and smiling seductively. " Why the hell do you have that? And does Roderick know you have that?" This only brought more laughter from the F.A.G trio. (It doesn't mean faggot. It is their first names. Gilbert mad it up.)

"I got it last night! My little specks was doing a stripe show for me. Kesesesesese!" cackled my older brother.

Gilbert, Prussia, is my oldest brother. First its him at 27 years, then me at 25, Francis at 23, Arthur at 21, Alfred at 19, and shy little Matthew also at 19 (Him and Alfred being twins. Alfred was only one hour older).

"Man! I never knew Roderick had this in him! Even when we were married he never did this for me, man!" said Spain, better known as Antonio. This made Francis chuckle and Gilbert glare at the Spaniard. "That's because you married Roderick for political reasons and he never loved you Toni. Fish was to busy taking over Europe to marry him mon Cher."

I decided that I was done with the bad touch trio so I went to look for Feliciano. "POTATO BASTURD! WHERE THE FUCKEN HELL IS MY FRATELLO! IF YOU HURT HIM I SWEAR I WILL CASTRATE U WITH A TOMATO VINE!" I sighed and turned around to look at the huffy Italian behind me. "What do u want, Romano?"

Romano looked pissed. More pissed then usual. "That pasta basturd owes me 50 Euros from our poker game last night. I can't find him anywhere. If you hurt him then u will see your end much sooner then I have already planned crud breath." This was my normal conversation with my lover's brother. It never mattered what the original topic was, he would always bring it back to my doom.

"Well I don't know where Feli is either. I'm looking for him." Romano huffed angrily and stormed off.

My mind began to wander as I looked for Italy. 'If his machine really works it will be amazing. Or we will have a Fringe moment. Then my people would have to engineer the amber to freeze the fringe moment. That might bring more jobs though so it could be a good thing…' I thought. Just then my lover jumped onto my back.

"Luddy! Want to go up to our hotel room and have the left over pizza from last night for lunch! Ve~!" I gave him a small rare smile. I could tell he wanted more then pizza.

~ 20 minutes before Midnight

I looked around the semi dark room. More people then I thought had shown up. Francis, Alfred, Matthew, Gilbert, and my self had shown up only because we had to. Besides us Feliciano, Antonio, a pissed off Romano, Hungary, Austria, and most surprising, Russia plus Belarus had come

"Can I please have every one's attention?" every one stopped talking (in Antonio's case singing a song he called "face it") and looked over at Arthur. "If every one can gather around, we will start the portal." I griped Feliciano's hand as we all moved closer to the large ring in the middle of the room.

Against one wall was a bunch of machines with a few operators at it. On the world conference table was a large metal ring up in the air supported by a round base plate. It looked like your normal British Si-Fi machine.

"Begin." Said Arthur. The machine started to hum as the operators moved around flicking on switches and pressing buttons. Suddenly, a blue vortex appeared in the middle of the ring and a street appeared. Arthur's eyes went wide and everyone gasped. "It's working! Its really working!" cheered Arthur.

Suddenly the vortex turned red and a warning siren went off and lights flashed. I was confused just like every one else. I felt a pulling sensation and every one started to become distant.

The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of a large crowd in a large city. I had no idea where the hell I was. I tapped a passing woman on the shoulder and she turned to look at me. "Excuse me! Miss! Where am I?" the woman I tapped looked confused. "I'm sorry but I don't speak Chinese. Is that what you are speaking?" she said in a British accent. I switched to English blushing from my thick German accent. "I'm sorry. But where are we?" she smiled realizing I was German. "We are in London. The date is May 15, 2012 love. Why don't you go back to your hotel and sober up."

I froze. I was in the middle of London. All alone. With no money. I wasn't in Japan, at the world conference, with all the other countries. I was in the middle of goddamn London.

End of chapter 1

**A/N**: Yay! The first chapter is done! Please oh please dear god review! I promise the next chapter will be the bad touch trio and some real Sherlock. But if you guys review I will put some yaio in! At lest 25 reviews and the bad touch trio might do a strip show from Prussia's point of view!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: So I only got one review that means no yaoi for you! And so far I have had over thirty views. Shame, shame on all your house! (Kidding! I love you all!)

So I forgot to add one more theory. **Healing**; all of the countries heal fast. (Ex: if china broke his wrist, it would be fine in two days.) But Prussia heals crazy fast. If you know who Wolverine is, he heals like he does. So bullets are no problem for him. Broken bones take a little longer, but still heal really fast. An example from a role-play I did, is Prussia got in a fight with Britain. Britain was a bloody mass and Prussia got away with a [healing] bloody nose.

Warning: Swearing, France, the bad touch trio, and Irene Adler. That explains everything.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, Sherlock, Monty Python, or X-men.

Chapter 3, Some one almost as awesome as I (Prussia)

Every one started to get far away and blurry but Francis, and Toni stayed the same. "What the hell?" I have no idea how, but some how we were suddenly in a semi dark flat.

There was ugly wall paper, two over stuffed chairs, a desk piled high with books and a bunch of other junk, and a fire place with a skull on the damn mantel. The kitchen was in no better state. The table was covered in bottles filled with different colored liquids and the counters had the same treatment.

"Oh! How could any one live here! The carpet doesn't match the wall paper and it dark and creepy in here!" stated my French friend. He looked disgusted and my Spanish friend looked the same way. "I lived in a place worse then this when I lived with West. And I'm not so bad." That made Antonio laugh. "Yea man. The pale pervert albino whose best friend is France isn't so bad."

"Who the hell are you?" I looked over, as did my friends at a man who was standing in the doorway. He had short curly black hair and was wearing a wrinkled suit. I recognized English. 'Damn it. The awesome will have to act translator.' Francis looked confused as well as Toni. "Hm… If your not going to answer I guess I will have to figure it out." He said in an annoyed tone. "No, its just my friends don't speak English. I'm Gilbert, though you can call me Fish or awesome king of pure awesomeness. The blond is Francis, and the idiot looking one is Antonio but you can call him Toni." I dared not translate that. Francis was looking at me a bit worried. Antonio was just smiling his head off.

"Hm… Your full name is Gilbert Beldschmit. You have a pet bird and live with your current lover. Though you used to live with your younger brother and still rely on him. For 40 years you were beaten and torched. You are also much, much older then you look though I can't figure out how old. 'Your friend Francis is also your younger brother by one child. Now moving on to him. His full name is Francis Bonnfey. He is French. He is also sex offender, and is going out with your younger brother. He is also much older then he looks though I cant tell how old as well.' And your last friend Antonio's full name is Antonio Hernandez. He is Spanish. He loves tomatoes. His current lover used to work for him. And he is also much older then he looks."

I stared at him in shock then quickly translated in common what he had said. Then we all started at him in complete shock.' He can do the same thing that I can do that makes me so awesome. Just look at some one and be able to tell them every thing about them.' I thought. It was amazing! Completely amazing.

"Tell him his mother is a hamster, and his father smells of elder berries." Said Francis in common. "Um, my un-awesome friend says, that your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elder berries."

This made the man smirk some. "Very funny. Bye the way, my name is Sherlock. Sherlock Holmes. My flat mate is out shopping right now but his name is John Watson." I translated and Francis gasped. Toni and I just started at him. "Mon Cher, Are we in London? And may I ask what year it is?" He asked in French.

"Wee, you are in London. And I speak French as well as English and Spanish. Though I don't speak German. Or that other langue you were translating in." He replied in French and all three of us sighed in relief.

If we could speak a common langue it would make my awesome life way easier. I looked around the flat then realized something so obvious that it made me feel so dumb. I was in the middle of London and I had no idea where the hell my Roderick was.

~ **From an aristocrat to a whore **(Austria)

I was freaking out. One moment I had been in the world conference room, holding Gil's hand and safe. The next I was in a rich house. And now I was in my under wear and hand cuffed to a bedpost. And being whipped by a woman. Not the best place for me.

She had medium length red hair and green eyes. She also had a lot of make up on. A LOT of make up on.

"For the last time who are you and how did you get in my house?"

"My name is Roderick Beldschmit and I have no idea how the hell I got in your house! Now let me go! Or I will sue you and I always win cases! Do you even know who I am?!" I have no idea why I was using Gilbert's last name. But I was.

"No I don't know who you are because I know every single rich man in this city, because they are all my clients. Even if they are married they are my clients. And I need a new helper. So you will be my new helper and I wont call the police. Okay?"

I paled. Gilbert had always told me about sex rings. I had never seen one so I never believed him. Well now I was being pulled into one. "J-ja. Fine. I will do it." I only wished I could be safe in my own home, playing my lovely piano with Gilbert playing his viola.

"Good. And your German. That will make them like you even more. I'm Irene Adler." She un-cuffed me and I rubbed my wrists. "I'm Austrian for your information." I curled into a small ball wondering what she did with my cloths.

She laughed at me and threw me some cloths that were definitely not mine. The top was green and had slits in the sides. The 'shorts' more like underwear and bright white. If I wore them there would be no way I could wear boxers. The though of going commando like Gil did made me blush.

"I refuse to wear this."

"Then you will go naked. And you can either go commando or get a thong from the closet." Said Irene while looking through a box. I decided to go commando rather then wear a damn thong.

"And before you ask, no there is no where you can change. You have to change in front of me."

I blushed a deep red and quickly changed into the immodest cloths, trying to hide my vital regions when I put on the shorts. "Now, do you know how to pole dance and do a strip show?"

End Chapter two

**A/N**: So how was that? If I translated anything wrong please tell me! Cause I know I have a few French readers! Plus, I can see how many people read this story, and how many people who review. And I know where you live. So review or there might be a sunflower on your doorstep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: I am so sorry for the late update! It's been a combination of Parents, Homework, computer hogging brothers, and writer's block. SPOILER ALERT: Someone is going to die in this chapter! And your all going to hate me for it! And the reason I'm updating is because I'm at home sick.

Chapter 3, Why don't you meet my pipe (Russia)

I looked around. I was no longer in the world conference room. I was at a dark pool area. It was a perfect place to commit murder in my option. As silent as snow, Bella stood up next to me, long sharp knife in hand. Just the look of her with that knife gave me shivers. Some people find it strange that while I make people cower in fear, Bella is the only one that makes me cower in fear.

"Big brother, look where we are. We are all alone in a dark place. Why don't we have some fun big brother? I'm sure you would like it better then having sex with filthy American scum."

"Bella, now is really not the time." I pulled out my long metal pipe just in case she did any thing. She had a long history of attacking me randomly or attacking my Little America. But now was not the time to dwell on that. I had to figure out where I was and if I could get back to the world conference. There were a few people I had to threaten.

"Are the bombs in place?"

"Yes sir. We will have Sherlock Holmes running around for weeks. Though hopefully there will be at lest one case he can't crack. Then there will be mass destruction."

" Very good. Send the call at 2."

A man stepped out into the pool area. He was very pale with brown hair and brown eyes. He was wearing a black and white suit, almost like the one Alfred wore to the Christmas party last year. He stood tall and looked straight at me confused.

"Who the bloody hell, are you?"

I switched to English, seeing that's what he spoke. "I am Ivan. And you?"

"I just don't give out my name sir. How did you get here?" he said in a curt tone. Come to think of it, I had no idea how I got here. Other than that fact I was in the middle of watching Britain's portal happen and then I was here.

I replied, "I don't know. But, tell me your name. Or you can meet my pipe." I swung my pipe threateningly and glanced to my side to tell Bella to go, but she wasn't there. 'Not good' I thought. 'Kat will kill me if I lose her.'

The man sighed and put his hands up. "Well me friend, if you threaten me then there is one thing I can do." A small laser lined up with my forehead. A sniper laser. I slowly set me pipe down. I could live trough a bullet to the head like any nation, but other then Prussia; we get knocked out and still need to go to the hospitable.

"Good. You're a smart one. Now, are you with the police?"

"No."

"Are you with the secret service?"

"No."

"Then who are you?"

"A criminal like your self. Looking to find out where I am and why I'm here."

He smiled a dark smile. The kind I like. The dark smile that says to your prey, 'I'm going to kill you and there is nothing you can do about it.' He took a step closer and the laser beam went off my forehead. "Well then. I'm James Moriarty. Why don't we get acquainted? "

**~. (Bellarus)**

The dark. It's a wonderful thing. I crept closer to the bed of the sleeping man. His blond hair and bomber jacket were just visible in the dim light coming from the window. I slowly pulled out my knife, careful not to wake the scumbag. I nudged him softly to wake him up.

"Ivan, it's to early." He mumbled. I smiled evilly.

"Oh, I'm not Ivan. I'm just death." With that, I slipped his throat before he could scream.

**A/N**: You all hate me now. Short chapter. But it gets to the point.


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